Saturday, September 26, 2009


The crisp fog that surround every inch of you. Your body indulging in its misty taste. The freshest breath of the earth's atmosphere breathing all around you, AND to you. Standing such a small while should be the most eminent of experiences. Draped feelings bring such a pleasing gloom, but how would it feel if every single thought you've ever had of someone, you'd tell them straight out? Every little feeling. Every bit of ocurrence that's emerged in the tidal wave of thought. Whether it be brutal, unfaithful, hypocritical, beautiful, apathetic, trusting, guilty, comforting, anything.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Mon dieu


Sunday, September 20, 2009

What's on my mind

1. I know that you think that in some way you'll be able to make me feel resentful with what you do, but I hope it doesn't break you to know that I'll never change my perspective. It'll just make me see you in a darker light. Sorry.

2. This weekend (like the rest), I've thought of it. And finally, I hope, just finally I've become truthful with the way I feel and not force myself to turn from it. Comfort's all there was, and I admittedly, was okay with it.

3. I want you to ask me already! You. Before anyone else. Truthfully. Honestly. Don't analyze and JUST DO IT! I don't even know why I've humbly and sincerely inclined towards you, I guess I'm just real excited for something new. Just to think about it makes me smile so please, HURRY UP!

4. I hope that my constant ambiguity doesn't make people dislike me. My practice of it is under heavy rotation, it must drive some of you sick if you take the time to read what I post.

5. I honestly dislike people that go to school without a purpose. If minimal effort is put forth, it's cool. But do it for the right reasons, damn it. It irritates me when people want to get good grades to get parents off their back, instead of doing it for themselves. Alright, I admit it's more difficult to do it for others than yourself. But subjectively, I believe that it's pointless. You're not really striving towards anything if you're taking freaking 6 AP classes to get "parents off your back". If your parents don't pressure you to take difficult classes, and all you want is to get them off your case, take regular courses. Why the hell would you just take difficult courses if you're completely indifferent about college!?!?

Friday, September 18, 2009

Back then

Today : "So he DID like you back when you two were hanging out"

Even though I was never sure of it. It was for at least a while.
& Of course, being too late for a reaction, is it okay if it warmed my heart for at least a few seconds?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Bad dream

I'm tired of so many things. Today's passing has become an enormous blur, starting from the beginning of the day during French class when a friend pointed out a physical flaw of mine which most likely fulfilled her with satisfaction. Then her ceaseless routine of joking has emerged to me today, a snaking growth of exhaustion and angst internally developing. Now I feel that our bonding is utterly deficient. And today I embarassed myself once again, adding yet another paper to the pile in my drawer of embarassing moments. Or maybe I just embarass myself because I manage to look at it as an embarassing situation. Maybe I'm just the only one feeling this way and magnifying everything to a far extent. Confusion has just made a large factor recently, from the doubt of friendships to self-conciousness and lack of determination. It's time to wake up and motivate myself. ELEVATE myself. Insanity's irritation is a heavier weight than the resolutions one's able to commit to. Just tired of battling with myself and my surroundings. What happened to that positive feeling of intense commitment? I can feel autumn's air surfacing each and every coming day.

Friday, September 11, 2009


starts new.

In the future, where will I be?

I want to talk to you.

Thursday, September 3, 2009


I tend to rummage through ffffound quite often.